


What's In A Word - Sphallolalia

by Davechicken



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-25
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-04-06 03:04:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4205571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Prompt:</p>
<p>Sphallolalia - Flirtatious talk that leads nowhere.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What's In A Word - Sphallolalia

Cramped in the backseat of the most hideous vehicle since the vehicles actually shit all over the ground and needed to be fed and watered, Crowley wondered what he’d ever seen in the angel. Wasn’t it enough that his coat had to look like someone’s watered-down stools, but he had to get a _car_ like that, too? And the music that came on before Squirrel changed the channel… could you call that music?

“You know,” he said to the angel who was most assuredly _hogging the leg room_ , and he didn’t care **how** long his damned legs were, you did not do that! “…most people, having their midlife crisis, get a shiny red or black penis allegory. Take Dean, for instance.”

“No one’s taking Dean,” Cas said, his blue eyes narrowing like the Kitten about to strike and bat ineffectually.

“I was… it’s a figure of speech! Not that I _wouldn’t_ , on an aesthetic level…”

Dean was pretending he hadn’t heard that, turning up the classic rock even louder.

“What I mean to say is, this is… wait, _what_ did you do to the suspension?”

“Nothing,” Cas harumphed. “It came like that.”

“Geez, Cas. Warn a demon next time. I thought your car was somehow possessed and trying to hump me.”

“My car would not–”

“KNOCK IT OFF,” Dean yelled.

Crowley smiled sweetly at Dean’s reflection in the rear view mirror. “Yes, Mommy. Daddy will behave, now. Maybe pass the nice nerve pills for the journey.”

Castiel tried to look aloofly out the window. Crowley wriggled. And then squirmed. And then–

“Sit still,” the angel barked at him.

“Make me.” He wasn’t even sure why he said that. And when Cas rolled his eyes, he lifted up his cuffed wrists. “You could loosen these for me?”

Back to ignoring him.

“Last time someone cuffed me up it had a–”

Crowley’s eyes went wide as Cas literally balled the demon’s own tie up and shoved it in his mouth as a gag. He spat it out, glaring. “Rude!”

“Then be quiet. Or I will allow Dean to put you in the trunk.”

“Can we at least play I Spy?”

The death-glare said no. Crowley shook his head. “You were more fun when you were God. At least you were good for a wank or two– no, not the trunk!”

Dean had the car on the side of the road, indicators blinking. He turned around and did his best Annoyed Winchester Daddy face. Crowley wondered if it was the only look he’d inherited from his wayward father.

“Can I at least have a phone in airplane mode so I can play? I promise you can take the SIM card out.”

Cas shook his head, and Crowley seethed. It was going to be a long trip.


End file.
